


Look to the Stars

by Elvesliketrees



Category: Bonanza
Genre: Adam is an amazing big brother, Angst, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Hoss is a genius, Hurt/Comfort, Illness, Little Joe is adorable, Minor Character Death, fluff (sort of)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-08-31
Updated: 2014-08-31
Packaged: 2018-02-15 14:22:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2232255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elvesliketrees/pseuds/Elvesliketrees
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Young Little Joe goes looking for his mother, and Adam and Hoss are forced to go and track him down. Will Ben pull himself out of his grief in time to realize that he stands to lose those three things that are so precious to him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Look to the Stars

**Author's Note:**

> I noticed that there really aren't many fics about the young Cartwrights. I wanted to have something that really shows Ben pulling out of the rut he's in. I'm just going to pretend that Hop Sing has been employed with the Cartwrights for quite a while.

Little Joe padded over to the chair where his father sat and stared into the fire. Pa didn't tell him what made him sad, but he was four now, so he could help! If only Pa would tell him what to do, he could help him be not sad! Christmas was tomorrow, and he needed Pa's help in finding Mama. She'd come racing into the yard on her horse, yelling happily that they were going to have snow for Christmas last week, and then she'd fallen. Pa had taken her upstairs, and he hadn't seen her again. They had to go with the preacher to the cemetary after that, and they put a box in the ground. Hoss held his hand as they did it, and Adam stood behind them both with a hand on each of their shoulders. Hoss cried through the whole thing, but Hoss was seven, so he was allowed to cry when he was sad. Adam was twelve and a big boy (Pa was even talking about his first horse), so he didn't cry at all. He just stood tense behind Little Joe. He didn't cry either, why were they putting a box in the ground if Mama was missing?! After that, Hoss and Adam were really quiet, Pa didn't do much, and Hop Sing took care of them most of the time. The meals that he brought Pa were usually dumped in the sink, but Hop Sing didn't say a word about it. They were all in the big room in the front of the house, Adam and Hoss were playing quietly in a corner. Joe didn't want to play, he wanted to find Mama! No one had mentioned Christmas yet, but Mama would come and fix everything if he could just find her. He toddled over to the window and looked out. It was snowing! Mama loved snow, it didn't come too often. Of course! She would be out in the snow! Hop Sing came out of the kitchen then, and he wished them goodbye. His cousin was having a baby, and Hop Sing was coming over to cook for her family while she took care of the baby. Pa nodded at him and Hoss and Adam waved goodbye. Hop Sing told them that dinner was cold sandwhiches, which were on the counter. Pa gave him a quiet Merry Christmas and continued to stare into the fire. Well, Little Joe was going to find Mama, even if they wouldn't help! But Joe knew the rules, and he quietly toddled over and tugged on Pa's sleeve. Pa looked down at him with a blank stare. "I'm going out,"Little Joe chirped. Pa just went back to staring into the fire. Joe had told his Pa, and he hadn't said no! He raced over to the door and tugged on his coat and boots. He walked outside, it was snowing lots! He walked and he walked, but he didn't see Mama! "Mama!!" he called. Maybe she was in the cellar, getting things for a snack. He was really cold, his hands and ears especially, and he turned to look in the cellar. He couldn't see the house! He went too far, and he didn't know where he was! Well, Pa told him that if was ever lost, that he needed to sit right where he was and start yelling, and someone would always come for him. "Mama?" he called, "Pa, Adam, Hoss, Hop Sing?" He whimpered, no one was coming! He curled up in the snow, and he cried.

\---

Adam looked up from their very quiet came of soldiers. Hoss continued to put their army in formation. Adam looked around the room for Little Joe, his brother had been mighty confused lately, and he would love a chance to play with Hoss' special soldiers. Joe wasn't in the room.

"Hoss?" he said quietly, so as not to disturb Pa.

"What?" he brother said, not looking up.

"I don't see Joe," he whispered, "And his coat and boots are gone." Hoss jumped up, scattering the soldiers. They raced throughout the house, and couldn't find Joe. They raced outside and Hoss put his hands to his mouth, he was the loudest.

"JOE!!!" he yelled. Adam shook his head. Hoss' chin-length blonde hair was already getting wet, they had to find Joe _right now_. He rushed back inside. He tugged urgently on Pa's sleeve, Pa always knew what to do! "Pa, pa, Joe's missing!" he pleaded, "We have to go look for him!" Pa just turned back to the fire. Hop Sing went to his cousin's, he couldn't help, and the hands were all gone to their families!

"Pa?" Hoss whimpered, realizing the same thing.

"Hoss, go and get Joe's warm things, and your own," Adam insructed quietly. Hoss nodded and did as he was told, recognizing Adam's serious tone. Adam went to stand in front of Pa and looked him in the eyes. "We have to go and find Joe, we'll bring him back, I promise," he said quietly. He went to Pa's big desk and got out pen and paper. He wrote a note for Pa and put it in his lap. Hoss came racing down the stairs. He had a scarf, coat, gloves, and boots on. He also had Little Joe's warm underwear, scarf, and boots. Hoss tied the scarf over his pale hat and slid the gloves on, his coat was a little big. Adam donned his black hat and tied his scarf over it. He had a blue coat, which quickly slipped into, along with his gloves. They ran out the door and into the night.

\---

It was getting really dark out, but Joe did as Pa said and didn't move. He curled in tighter. He couldn't feel his hands anymore, and his head was really hurting. He was getting really tired, and he really just wanted to curl up in Pa's lap and take a nap. He didn't dare cry, his tears were freezing to his face. He tried one more feeble cry for his brothers and anyone else he could think of, but no one came to get him, as Pa promised.

\---

Hoss was really scared, but he didn't dare say anything to Adam. He was an older brother, and that meant he had to be brave, Pa told him so himself! Hoss went on ahead, he was the better tracker, and he thanked God for the moonlight. "Joe!!" Adam yelled for the hundredth time. There was still no answer.

"I'm cold," Hoss said quietly.

"We have to keep going, Joe must be colder," Adam observed.

"Yer right, he ain't even got his mittens!" Hoss said despairingly. They walked on as the wind howled and the snow grew deeper. Just as Hoss thought he couldn't walk any farther, he spotted the tell-tale brown curls.

"Joe!" Adam cried as he raced forward. They both ran forward and skidded to a stop next to the small boy.

"Hoss, Adam?" Joe whimpered weakly.

"We're here," Hoss soothed.

"I did just as Pa said, I stayed where I was and yelled," Joe said happily.

"Why are you out here?" Adam said breathlessly.

"Lookin' for Mama, can't find her, and tomorrow's Christmas and I can't find her, can you help, Adam can find anything!" Joe pleaded. Tears welled behind Hoss' eyes, but he was an older brother, he mustn't cry, and they must get Joe back to Pa. Hoss picked up the boy, he was strongest, and Adam pulled on his hat and mittens. Hoss looked up to the sky, to his three favorite stars.

"Why, don't ya know, she got invited!" Hoss stated.

"What?" Joe asked. Hoss pointed to the three stars.

"Ya see, those three stars are our three Mamas. God invited 'em to come up and be stars early, cause they were so nice! The middle star, the guide star, is Adam's ma, cause she was the strongest, waitin' for Pa to come back from sailin' all the time. The biggest star is my Ma, cause she had the biggest heart. The shiniest star, do ya know who that is?" Hoss explained as they walked.

"Mama!" Joe cried as loudly as he could.

"That's right, cause she was prettiest and happiest. Now, they can't come down, cause they got to be with God, but they can watch, and when we talk to 'em, if we listen real hard, we can hear 'em!" Hoss continued. Joe looked up at the stars with awe and said no more. They continued to walk, and Joe stopped shivering.

"He's too cold," Adam said fearfully.

"My coat's too big, I can put him in there!" Hoss said gleefully. Adam unbuttoned him and stuck Joe in. Hoss put his arms under him and they walked on, with Adam walking beside him with one hand on his arm to support him, in case he stumbled. "Can't feel my hands," Hoss mumbled.

"Me neither, Joe, now you listen, you _have_ to stay awake, you don't have to take a nap today, you get to be a big boy!" Adam encouraged. A weak affirmative was all they got.

"We have to get 'im, back," Hoss whispered tiredly. Adam nodded weakly. Soon, Hoss' legs felt like lead, and he could barely lift 'em, and Adam's hand was slipping. Joe was starting to slip. "I have to rest," Hoss panted.

"Can't, have to get Pa," Adam whispered. Adam went down on his knees, and face-down into the snow. Hoss knelt down and tried to get Adam up, but he couldn't carry both of them. He was strong, but for the first time, he wasn't strong enough.

"Adam, ya have to get up!" Hoss sobbed. His tears froze to his face. "Pa!!" he sobbed.

\---

A call pulled him out of his reverie. Hoss? Ben looked to where the boys were playing, and saw nothing. He jumped up, knowing something was wrong. A paper fluttered to the ground, and he scooped it up, it was in Adam's neat hand.

_Pa,_

_We couldn't find Little Joe, and we think he went outside. We're going to find him, and we should be back before dinner. I love you, and so does Hoss. I promise I'll be a good big brother and bring them both back safe. See you soon._

_Adam (with Hoss)_

Ben's heart crashed into his feet. He thundered to the window and looked out into the raging storm.

"Oh God," he whimpered, "Oh God, please no, please don't take them from me." He pulled on his boots and coat and crashed out the door. He raced to Luna, his mare, and saddled her. He grabbed a lantern. Luna was strong and fiesty, and would get the job done. He thundered away from the Ponderosa's main house. He soon began to shiver, it was so cold! How could he? How could he be such a terrible father?! He kept going and going. How far did they get?! Not an hour later he began to get numb. He almost lost hope when he saw the huddled figures. "HOSS, ADAM, JOE!!!" he yelled. He leapt off of Luna and rushed over to the figures. Hoss was clutching his middle, and a barely concious Adam was panting against his shoulder. "Oh thank God, oh my babies," he sighed. He gathered them in his arms. He spotted Joe's chocolate eyes peeking out from Hoss' coat. He chuckled. They were all so cold, and soaked to the bone. Their lips were all blue, and he didn't want to think about their fingers and toes, especially Little Joe. He needed to get back to the Ponderosa _now_. He lifted Adam onto Luna and then Hoss in front of him with Joe still in his coat. Adam wrapped his arms around them and grasped the saddle horn. "Hold on boys, just stay awake," Ben pleaded. It seemed like hours, and he stopped shivering, and his arms and legs felt like lead. Finally, he saw the lights. Hoss gave a weak cry. He ran Luna into the barn and threw off the saddle and got a blanket on her, he would tend her later. He took the boys in his arms and burst into the house. He set them carefully in front of the fireplace and collapsed. He ripped the scarf off of Joe's face and gasped to find frostbite on his nose and cheeks.

"Didn't have a scarf," Adam panted.

"Oh baby," Ben sighed. Adam and Hoss also had frostbite, he could see, and he guessed himself, as he only had a coat.

"We need to fetch Doc Martin," he panted.

"I'll do it," Adam said as he straightened his hat.

"Absolutely not!" Ben protested.

"You need to stay here with Little Joe, and most of the horses are too big for Hoss!" Adam protested. Ben couldn't find anything to say. Adam slowly got up and staggered to the door. Ben tried to go after him, but collapsed. Black spots danced into his vision.

\---

Adam had to go get Doc Martin! It was only an hour into town, and he needed the doc! He raced up to a pinto and threw on his saddle. He took a lantern, like his Pa, and rode like the wind. He was about halfway there when he got tired. But he rode on. He was about to collapse when he finally got into town. He leapt off the saddle and staggered to the door. He crashed into it and collapsed. He was falling asleep! He couldn't, Pa and his brothers needed him! He couldn't help it though, and he was so warm. Luckily, the crash woke up the doc and he opened the door.

"Adam!" he exclaimed in shock.

"Pa, Joe, Hoss, frostbite," he sighed. He fell asleep, sending an apology to Pa.

\---

Ben was warm. Oh no, no he couldn't! He knew that you got warm right before...before...He couldn't do that to the boys, his beautiful boys. He needed to be there for them. He crashed awake and groaned. Everything hurt. He was in his bed, but not his room. When had someone moved his bed?! He tried to sit up, but a hand stopped him. He looked around and saw that they were in the big room, and that Doc Martin was there.

"Have I never explained the uses of gloves and hats?" he asked sarcastically.

"My babies?" he demanded.

"Right here, and brave little things. Adam passed out right on my doorstep, and we came to you, Hoss, and Joe all deathly cold in front of the fire. I thought I might lose you lot at first. What were you thinking?!" he demanded. Ben igornred him. He noticed the bandages around his hands and feet, luckily he counted ten fingers and ten toes. "Don't worry, I didn't have to cut anything off anyone, though it was close call," Doc observed. Ben looked to his right and saw the three little bundles of blanket. He gave a chuckle and the doc fluffed up his pillows so he could sit up. Doc tucked up the blankets around him, except for the big quilt him and the boys shared. Doc said something about broth and walked out. Ben grabbed the smallest bundle and found Little Joe's face wrapped in bandages. Ben kissed his small forehead and settled the little boy in his arms. He reached out and stroked Adam's short hair.

"Good boy," he whispered. Adam stirred and blinked at him.

"Pa?" he whispered.

"That's right son, come here," Ben said softly. Adam crawled into Ben's lap and was soon asleep, his hands, feet, and face all swathed in bandages. Ben gave Little Joe to Adam, and the two curled into one another in their sleep. "Come here my big, strong boy," he said softly as he pulled a sleeping Hoss into his lap. He kissed his forehead and settled into a comfortable sleep. That was how Doc Martin found Big Ben Cartwright and his boys. Ben had his head settled against the pillows and had his arms wrapped around his three boys. Doc Martin thanked God for Christmas miracles.

**Author's Note:**

> What did you think, reviews are appreciated! I've been debating on whether to continue this with a few more fics. What do you think? I didn't really know the age gaps, so I decided that Hoss and Adam would be pretty close in age, while there would be a pretty big gap between Adam and Little Joe. Thanks for reading!


End file.
